Biscuits & Music
Thursday November 20th 2008, 10:58 am
Filed under: Uncategorized


Barring one day
Which could be described as a peephole
It has been gray and damp
It seems… for the whole of November
And as time has slowed down somewhat for myself
I find myself noticing the little curios of life
Like
Since I have been calorie counting
I have had to study the contents of biscuits
And as a result
There has been a recent dalliance with Malted Milk
Less than half as calorie expensive than a digestive
But Malted Milk has an inherent problem in it’s construction
It can disguise a hairline crack like no other
And as I am a habitual dunker
It has been an infuriating distraction
I will be sat there…reading…or on the computer
Only mildly aware of my dunking hand
When I am taken by a gasp of despair
As the lower half of my biscuit detaches
And is engulfed to the bottom
I am immediately to my feet
Like red a dare to a rig fire
To the kitchen quickly
Before the Malted Milk loses all of it’s integrity
And turns my tea into biscuit porridge
Of course I have to replace the biscuit
Lest my small but necessary dunking pleasure
Be replaced by stress
Which means a careful inspection of the next Malted Milk
Using a light tap with the middle fingernail
I may have to soon buy a magnifying glass
For now though
I have switched to Nice
They fall apart a bit more honestly

Then my ears pick up on something
Whilst I am tapping away on the computer
It’s my music
It’s a very large collection
Playing on shuffle
Using Windows Media Player
It happily shuffles away
Giving me great variety for long periods
And then
As if it has it’s own mind and it’s own taste
It settles on a favoured album
And starts randomly selecting from within that album
This shouldn’t really be a problem
But I am finding it annoying
WMP is being impudent
It’s not doing what it was told to do
Even more annoying
Is that I can’t do much about it
WMP seems to have an exclusive “Right Click Contract” with my outside hard drive
The only alternative is to drop the music folder onto the i-player
Which takes a fair while to get going
Maybe it’s time I went back to work
We’ll see
Tomorrow I have another visit to the jobcentre



Biscuits & Music
Thursday November 20th 2008, 10:48 am
Filed under: Uncategorized


Barring one day
Which could be described as a peephole
It has been gray and damp
It seems… for the whole of November
And as time has slowed down somewhat for myself
I find myself noticing the little curios of life
Like
Since I have been calorie counting
I have had to study the contents of biscuits
And as a result
There has been a recent dalliance with Malted Milk
Less than half as calorie expensive than a digestive
But Malted Milk has an inherent problem in it’s construction
It can disguise a hairline crack like no other
And as I am a habitual dunker
It has been an infuriating distraction
I will be sat there…reading…or on the computer
Only mildly aware of my dunking hand
When I am taken by a gasp of despair
As the lower half of my biscuit detaches
And is engulfed to the bottom
I am immediately to my feet
Like red a dare to a rig fire
To the kitchen quickly
Before the Malted Milk loses all of it’s integrity
And turns my tea into biscuit porridge
Of course I have to replace the biscuit
Lest my small but necessary dunking pleasure
Be replaced by stress
Which means a careful inspection of the next Malted Milk
Using a light tap with the middle fingernail
I may have to soon buy a magnifying glass
For now though
I have switched to Nice
They fall apart a bit more honestly

Then my ears pick up on something
Whilst I am tapping away on the computer
It’s my music
It’s a very large collection
Playing on shuffle
Using Windows Media Player
It happily shuffles away
Giving me great variety for long periods
And then
As if it has it’s own mind and it’s own taste
It settles on a favoured album
And starts randomly selecting from within that album
This shouldn’t really be a problem
But I am finding it annoying
WMP is being impudent
It’s not doing what it was told to do
Even more annoying
Is that I can’t do much about it
WMP seems to have an exclusive “Right Click Contract” with my outside hard drive
The only alternative is to drop the music folder onto the i-player
Which takes a fair while to get going
Maybe it’s time I went back to work
We’ll see
Tomorrow I have another visit to the jobcentre



Rehababab
Wednesday November 19th 2008, 9:40 am
Filed under: Uncategorized


This particular morning
I am a man of complete leisure
Doing what I so choose to do
But it is drawing to a close
I will have to get back in a taxi soon
However the seeds of leisure man have taken root
And bloomed
I can’t ignore it

Today I saunter down the seafront
And breakfast on the promenade
On an odd sunny morning
And I sit tinkering with my teaspoon
Staring out across the channel
Wondering about my urges
The constant itchy mind
That needs to be challenged
That won’t meditate
Requiring gallons of energy that I don’t have
That craves intense pressure
So it can work in optimum clarity
Buffering me with insanity
Should I loaf to much
At seafront cafes
Listening to chit chat
From the estuary middle class mothers
Discussing drying paint and growing grass
Ahead of me
Rising from the water
A submarine surfaces
The lightened water running off it’s sides
A dark dingy
With dark characters pulls it’s way ashore
They beach on the pebbles
And crunch their boots up to the promenade
Where they continue walking through the cafe tables
And straight up to me
“Mr Dial!” they say…and all pause around my table
“Come with us”
At last they have finally come for me
To take me away from all this mediocre crap
And fill me with danger and wonder and fear
I sigh and finish my coffee
And continue my walk along the seafront

I pass one of the boole pitches
And stare at it
Today I am full of cynicism
And I am certainly a cynic of boole on the seafront
We have various English games of this nature
Why do we need one of France’s ritual hangout games
I’m sure Brighton will say
That we share the sea border with them
We are connected
No no no says Mr Dial
It’s more shoehorn culture
Are they playing cricket in Calais?
Are they having their identity eroded at an alarming rate?

And who should pass me on the seafront
Another cultural anomaly
A boneheaded white man
In an orange and purple budhist costume
No doubt a budhist priest
It leads me to recall
A visit to the budhist temple in Scotland
Samy Ling
I wandered it’s quiet country grounds
I meditated in the stillness of the lavish temple
And then sat in the library discussing the Motherwell football team with one of the priests
It just didn’t feel right
It just doesn’t look right
It will never work
And never has so far
Take martial arts for instance
And think of a notable white man who is carrying the banner
Who have you got?
I think I have a good idea
It’s Chuck Bollocks or Stephen Seagull
Both of which are several dimensions behind Bruce Lee
And that’s not considering the current crop of easterners
Who now seem to have acquired super powers
Oh god don’t let us start copying that as well

From my years of Taxi driving
And now re-trained as a pedestrian
I can unveil a trend
That you never hear mentioned in the press
Here is a picture of a condo
condo
It’s now typical
To see these appear in Brighton
They have been going up for many years
But it’s worth noting to see what is going down
To make way for it
house
A lovely family house with drive and large rear garden
The condo in the picture accommodates around 30 people
The three houses that made way for them
Housed perhaps 12 people
This is the one and only trend for the city of Brighton
Flats
Nobody gets a garden
In a city hemmed in by the precious iron curtain of the Downs
Like Hong Kong
We can only go up or down



Carlsberg Job Centre
Tuesday November 11th 2008, 1:47 am
Filed under: Uncategorized


The appointment was for 11-30
So I thought I would get some walking done
I set off at 9 o clock
And headed for the town centre
Stopping at Borders books for a morning drink
And a bit of a read
Then for the uphill march to some remote office in an odd place
The interview thats coming
Is an outside organisation that has won a contract
To help ship the incapacitated back to work
It is in fact a branch of the Royal British Legion
I find it all a bit daft
As I have my plan anyway
So I don’t see what help they can put my way
But I was wrong
I arrived at the office
At the bottom of a drive
Tucked away behind some houses
I entered and nodded to the woman walking towards me
She ushered me into a side room and offered me a cup of tea
The tea came a minute later
Hot and in a proper mug
I had barely two sips before she returned
And directed me to another office

There was a bit of of form filling and signing
Then an informal chat
I told her that I was thinking of going back to the taxi part time
In around two weeks time
But I pointed out that it was going to be an experimental start
Due to the day of decorating I tried last week
Which pretty much canceled out the next day
And left me thinking that I could only start by working two days
At opposite ends of the week
She seemed quite pleased by this
And then checked how long I had been on the benefit
“Well if you sign off in the next fortnight we can offer you £100 plus £40 per week for the whole year”
Then she flicked through the computer
And shuffled through some papers
“But If your not sure your ready yet”
She looked at me and raised her eyebrows
“And you want to wait until the end of January”
“I can put you down with this other agency and get you an extra £200 to go… and register you for the Working Tax disability starter and get you another £60 per week”
This was not how I remembered my days of conflict with the dole office
I sat back
Looked at the ceiling and nodded slightly
£300 to go and £100 per week?
“Yeah…I think maybe I am not ready to go back just yet”
“I think I will wait ’til I am ready…at the end of January”
She smiled and gave me my next appointment
I stood and gave her my best respectful Japanese bow
And left the building

Carlsberg don’t do Job Centres
But if they did
They would serve biscuits with that tea



When Will I Return
Wednesday November 05th 2008, 3:25 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized


I suppose reading this
You could wonder
Is this guy really a cab driver?
Where are all his cabby stories?
I am beginning to wonder myself
Getting so used to this life of domestic wandering
I had the first tingle of work anticipation
Just a few days back
It’s getting closer
Like seeing the dust kicked up by an approaching army
I don’t want to think about it
But it will soon be at my gates

Last week I had my last visit to the hospital
A quick round of tests
Followed by a chat with the surgeons registrar
He had ticked me off as doing very well
And would need no further visits to the hospital
“So…Mr Dial…You can now go back to work”
There was a moment of silence
“When do you plan on returning to work Mr Dial?”
I shrugged
“Maybe in a couple of months”
He then looked at me with a brisk frankness
“Mr Dial…we do have a certain amount of concern for young men who have gone through these operations…As there seems to be a reasonably high degree of depression amongst them during recovery…which often manifests itself during the period when they are least capable”
During this sentence a small smile had creased the corner of my mouth
He didn’t know that he was talking to a former dole office area champion
Winner of the gold signing on pen 1997
I assured him that I had it all under control
And got up and left for the last time
Somehow forgetting half of the things that I wanted to ask him
What an ass
I need some kind of cue card when dealing with doctors

That same afternoon
I caught a bus to the other side of town
For my first appointment with my former masters
The job centre
I had not stepped into one since last century
And much had changed
Though not my attitude towards them
But I sat there quietly whilst the interview got underway
It was much easier this time
Due to the reality of my predicament
And they showed no intention of rushing me
And in the end offered me
What must be the latest of incentives to clear up the pool of incapacity
They intend to continue my incapacity benefit
For one year
As a supplement to part time work
My eyebrows were instantly raised
£2500 for nothing
To somebody who needs no incentives
Caught up in a general incentive
I liked the sound of that
A quick calculation pinged across my brain
I may just be able to get away with working 1 long day per week
Wow…for a whole year

Shortly after arriving home
My taxi buddy…Brynn…arrived
As I was telling him about the day
He made a move to offer me the use of his car when I need it
Well there we go
It’s all falling into place
One day a week
In the car that I sold last year
The lovely automatic Rover 75 estate
One day a week in a luxury motor
Instead of 7 days in that multi seat Scudo battlewagon

So in the end
The answer to the first paragraph
I am still a cabbie
And I will still be writing about the stuff on the streets

Just after I finished writing this
It was mid morning
And I left the park cafe and walked home
On the way I passed the school
Where I had dropped off Junior a couple of hours ago
I could hear them playing in the playground
And stopped to look through the gates
To see if I could see him
Just as I was about to do this I stopped myself
I can’t look through the school gates
I am not allowed
I am a man
Men can no longer stand and look through a school gate
What a shit state for us to get into
It saddens me
And it also saddens my iron